My Marathon Diaries: Running The 2015 TCS NYC Marathon

For those of you coming here for a recipe or something food-related today, I apologize. Today, I’m talking only one thing: the TCS NYC Marathon, which I ran yesterday in one of the most harrowing, challenging, exhilarating experiences of my life.

I never thought I’d run a marathon. It wasn’t something I really aspired to: in fact, when I signed up for my first half, I swore up and down that 13.1 was the furthest I’d go — no way I was crazy enough to run 26.2. But somehow, after running a few halfs, the thought began creeping back into my brain. Halfs were starting to become if not easy, manageable. I need a new challenge. People do it, it’s not that crazy. I kind of have time to do all of the training.

PREP TIME

And then all of a sudden, I was in. I entered the marathon through Team for Kids, a New York Road Runners charity that raises money to fund youth programs and promote healthy habits for underprivileged children in NYC. Running with a team has its advantages–training sessions, support groups, and great race-day amenities–but I also needed to raise $2,620. It was a lofty goal, but thanks to the generosity of friends and family, I ended up raising almost $3,000!

Fundraising was hard, but training was even harder. I traveled a bunch this summer, which made it difficult to do my long runs, and the heat and humidity of New York in July / August was pretty brutal. I tried to follow my training plan as closely as possible, but I was a nervous wreck in the week leading up to the race and a part of that was my deep-down realization that I probably could have trained harder and more effectively.

RACE DAY

But race day waits for no one, and mine started with a jolt at 4:47 a.m. on Sunday, Nov. 1. I took a Team for Kids-arranged bus to Staten Island, where the race begins. There’s also a huge Start Village there, which is a little mini-campsite for the 50,000(!!!) runners. The village had people handing out bagels, Gatorade, Power Bars, coffee, water and other pre-race goodies, but I was so nervous that I mostly sat on a small patch of grass with my head between my knees, trying to pass the hours until my 11 a.m. start time. Thankfully, I was wearing a few layers so the cold didn’t bother me too much (there are huge bins everywhere for all the extra clothing that runners discard pre-race, which are then donated to shelters). And one very nice man gave me his blanket so that I wouldn’t have to sit directly on the ground — everyone was kind of in it together, supporting each other wherever they could, and I was so visibly nervous that people were extra-nice.

The start is on the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge, which connects Staten Island to Brooklyn. It was a pretty cool feeling, standing on the bridge with thousands of other people, hearing the gun go off and “New York, New York” playing in the background. Everyone was fired up, but the first half-mile was pretty slow since everyone was jammed on the bridge and trying to weave in and out of the crowd. Less than two miles later, I was already in Brooklyn.

I had a bunch of technological difficulties on Sunday — it was so hard to get a signal in the Start Village that my phone drained its battery trying to catch a few bars, and by the time the race started, I was at 40%. Then my Nike app, which I use to track all of my runs, wasn’t working properly so I couldn’t really monitor my time or pace. Then my music started cutting in and out due to the aforementioned signal issues …

BUT the minute we got into Brooklyn, the bands and cheering and the crowds were so loud that I didn’t really need the music anyway. I ended up running the entire marathon without music, and that turned out to be really cool. There are thousands of people there to cheer you on, and feeding off of their energy was such a boost. I’m lucky enough that I had a number of friends and family members come out to cheer me on as well, and it was so great to see their faces and receive their high-fives and hugs and kisses along the route.

THE DEATH MARCH

Honestly, the middle of the race was a STRUGGLE. Miles 12-16, leaving Brooklyn, heading into Queens and then the dreaded Queensboro Bridge were a real challenge, especially when halfway means oh, ya know 13 whole miles left. The Queensboro Bridge is notoriously difficult, since it’s uphill and it’s completely quiet — no spectators allowed. I ended up power-walking most of it, choosing to conserve some energy instead of trying to slowly shuffle up that incline. The coolest part is the end of bridge, where you can hear the roars of the crowds on First Avenue in Manhattan. As I neared the end of the bridge, I literally let the noise carry me, since I was pretty gassed at that point.

The other thing carrying me? The knowledge that my family was waiting for me at mile 17.5. They were stationed at 87th street and I knew that if I could just make it to them, I could feed off of their support for a bit. They + a well-positioned PowerGel station at mile 18 kept me going … until mile 21, the last bridge of the course, which takes you from the Bronx into Harlem.

GUYS, I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE. This was the point where I seriously contemplated quitting. Every part of my body was aching, each step had me crying out in pain and at a few different points, I almost burst into tears. My lower back was screaming, my feet were so sore they were almost numb, and walking didn’t even really ease anything. Plus, 5+ miles was too far to be considered a “gimme,” and my phone was dying so I couldn’t even rely on external support. People say all sorts of things about determination and perseverance and spirit and mental toughness but I’ll be honest: the only thing that kept me going was that I knew, in the back of my head, that it’d be easier to end it by finishing than by trying to figure out how to pull out of the race.

THE END

Once I got to mile 22, I had one thought in my head: my family had shifted and was waiting for me at the entrance to Central Park, right near mile 24. If I could make it to them, it was only 2 miles from there and I was done. But I got to mile 23, someone yelled “it’s only a 5K from here” and I started running. I knew if I stopped, I would never be able to start again, so I waved to the crew, kept my head down and just kept going — no water stops, no Gatorade, no nothing. Central Park is where I train, so I knew exactly what to expect on the course, and the crowd was amazing.

When I re-entered Central Park at Columbus Circle, I knew I was three minutes away, and took off on a little mini-sprint. I was running on total fumes–100% adrenaline–and my only thought was “FINISH. FINISH. FINISH. FINISH.” They say to savor the moment of crossing the finish line, but it was such a blur, and my brain was so focused on crossing the line that I don’t remember the crowds or the signs or anything right near the end.

And then I felt so ill that a volunteer had to walk me to the Team for Kids finish tent, where I sat for a minute, got my post-race poncho and collected myself. I had picked a designated meeting spot for my family the week prior, and for whatever reason, chose a place that was a good 15-minute walk from the finish area. So I embarked on the slowest, saddest walk of my life, unable to contact anyone (my phone was dead) to say “carry me please!”

THE AFTERMATH

Meeting up with my friends and family gave me some life back, as did sitting for a minute and shoving some pretzels in my mouth. After a shower and a pizza-and-mozz-stick dinner, I felt almost normal, minus the part where I walked like a 100-year-old man.

Now that I’m 1,400 words in, what have I learned? This race was so much more of a mental struggle than a physical one. Don’t get me wrong, your body will go through hell throughout the training process and during the actual race. But the biggest struggle I had to overcome was my brain screaming “stop!” It was so hard mentally to shut out the doubts and the pain and the difficulty of it all, and part of me still can’t wrap my head around the fact that I actually did. I finished a marathon.

And now, we will return to your regularly scheduled programming … more recipes on the way!